I don’t ask much. I just occasionally want to have expectations I have set of myself to be met. I usually set them low, so that can’t be too much to ask, can it?
So I decided in advance that today would be hard work, with low audience numbers. That’s how yesterday worked out, so I expected the same today.
But instead I almost fill the room, and have a lovely show. I also get the best bucket of the Fringe so far.
It’s almost like I just have to go with it, and take each day as it comes. Take the rough with the smooth, and except there’s only so much I can have any control over. What am I, some kind of Stoic?
Keeping with trying to make good decisions for my life, I decided to go the gym again today. Good boy.
Beforehand though I went to Pizza hut. Bad boy.
Turns out that dough really isn’t the best source to fuel a workout. I didn’t get close to lifting my target weights. Instead I did more reps at a lower weight, so hopefully that will burn off some of the excess I’ve eaten.
But really it meant I walked 2 miles to have a shower. Oh well.
Going back to yesterdays pessimism, I was reflecting on opportunities I might be missing during my Fringe run.
Overall, I am very happy with how my show is going. It is going down well most performances with audiences, with only a small number being a genuine drag.
However, I am also doing the show to be in the biggest shop window in the industry. But it doesn’t help that I’ve not really let ‘the industry’ know I’m here. That’s down to anxiety. If you don’t put yourself up there, you can’t be knocked down.
Of course, if you don’t put yourself up there in the first place, you have no chance of succeeding. Sure, I know the theory alright…
One thing I have done though is approach publications for reviews. I sent out press releases, followed up on them, and also went to the ‘meet the press’ day at the start of the Fringe.
But so far, I have not had a single sniff of a review. Part of me is scared to follow up further, in case they turn up on an off day (like yesterday, or Saturday’s staring contest).
Of course that is the wrong attitude to take – they could have come today or Tuesday, when the shows went great!
In the end, to go back to what I said at the start, there is only so much I can control. I’ve put something out in to the world, and now I just have to see what happens in return.
All I can do is just continue to do my best with my performances each day. I can only control what I can control.
My show, Shit Socialist, is on 3.15pm, 1-25 Aug, at The Counting House (Attic). Free entry, PWYW.
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